My Best Friend -- Nikki's POV

January 3rd, 2008
"Are you happy?"

I look over at him as he lifts his head from between his legs, awaiting my answer with a calm face. I offer him a small smile and reply, "Of course I am, you goof."

He stares at me with a blank expression for a moment and I wonder what's going through his mind. After a minute he smiles and slightly nods his head, his usually crooked smile replaced with a broken one. "Good."

It worries me when he doesn't tell me what's bothering him. I wonder if it's something I've done.

- - -

August 29th, 2007
I ended up sitting next to this guy with a really funny sense of humor today in American Lit. He dyed his hair bright red on top and he has really pretty eyes. I think maybe he's part Asian. Or maybe Indian. Maybe I'll ask him tomorrow when I see him again.

He's really tall.


September 12th, 2007
He's always saying the funniest things to me. I wonder if he does it on purpose just to hear someone laugh. I swear, everything that comes out of his mouth makes me giggle. Then, every time I giggle, he gets this huge grin on his face that makes me want to giggle even more!

He's pretty freakin' adorable.


September 21st, 2007
Today we lied out on the sidewalk by the school, watching the clouds float over our heads. Drake was supposed to pick me up after my Honor Society meeting, but I guess he forgot. Jack was here five minutes after I texted him. I wonder why he drives to school if he lives so close to it…

Anyway, I didn't want to go home just yet, so cloud watching sounded like a pretty good idea. We talked about our childhood and how clueless we used to be when we were younger. Jack told me he fell out of a tree and broke his arm and how he almost drowned in a kiddie-pool and how it was a very traumatic experience.

I just lie there and smile to myself as he talks, every once in a while catching a glimpse of him staring at me out of the corner of my eye. I don't look back at him and continue to watch the clouds, wondering silently to myself if he was even more adorable as a kid.


October 5th, 2007
I went out on a date with Drake tonight. Or, I was supposed to. He talked me into "staying in" and "being romantic", which really meant he got to second base for the hundredth time and I got to watch him eat our entire pizza and shout at a wrestling match on TV.

I wonder what Jack is doing when he's not with me.


October 11th, 2007
Just as I'm sitting down at our lunch table, Jack presents me with the most adorable cupcake that I've ever seen. I just stare at it in awe, finally  stuttering out an excited, "Thank you!"  before picking it up to admire it. I tell him how sweet he is for thinking about me and he blushes.

Before I knew it, the entire lunch room is singing happy birthday to me thanks to the red-haired goof in front of me.

I pretend to be mad at him, wiping some icing on his cheek. He just smiles at me with that same crooked grin. I love that crooked grin.

Drake apologized to me in the hallway and we made up. He gave me a birthday card with a kitten on it because he thought I'd like it. It's kind of cute. I spent the rest of the day with Jack and then Drake picked me up at the end of the day, hugging me and asking how my birthday went. He's not such a bad guy.


October 23rd, 2007
I sit cross-legged on my bed as I balance my phone between my shoulder and my head, a notebook in my lap and a pen in my hand. Jack's voice is soft on the other side of the phone, a bit of a change from his regular loud tone. I guess that he's tired since it is a bit late. I tilt my head to the side a bit, careful not to drop the phone, examining the sketch that I'd scrawled on my paper. Jack sounds even more tired and tells me that his dad wants him to come inside. I wonder for a moment why he's outside so late at night in the first place and reply with a quiet goodnight, hanging up my phone once he wishes me a goodnight in return.

I can't seem to draw Jack's nose right.


October 29th, 2007
Today Jack asked me if I wanted to go trick-or-treating with him on Halloween. I thought it sounded like fun. Drake told me I couldn't go. He says trick-or-treating is for babies. Sometimes I wonder who he thinks he is. There's a line between boyfriend and father and he is no where near being my father. My chubby daddy encourages free candy.


October 31st, 2007
I sigh as I stare up at the starry night sky. Jack is beside me, wearing a pinstriped suit and a plush bat for a bowtie. A bag of candy is resting between us and we're too tired to eat any of it. It was a good night. Better than staying home with Drake. I glance over at Jack as he stares at the sky. He looks completely happy and content, his lips curved into a pleased smile. I can tell Halloween is his favorite holiday.

Jack's parents really love holidays. Their house is the most decorated house in the entire city, I swear. I met them for the first time today. They seem to like me; his mom especially. She's so sweet.


November 2rd, 2007
Today Drake yelled at me for going trick-or-treating and told me to grow up. I cried for an hour and he bought me a Coke to make up for it. Sometimes I wonder why he gets so angry over such small things.


November 25th, 2007
As I sit our drinks down at the table I watch Jack carefully. He picks up his smoothie and takes a sip, eyeing the hot chocolate in the cupholders next to them. I sit patiently, waiting for him to explain himself, but all I received is a reassuring warm smile. Not his crooked grin. A warm smile.

Something is definitely wrong here.


December 24th, 2007
It's Christmas Eve. I can't sleep. I lie in bed awake, just staring at the wall. Something is feeling unsettling to me and I don't know what it is. Maybe I drank too much eggnog.


December 31st, 2007
I'm crying as I stare at a picture of Drake on my phone. He's topless and he's trying to look hot. I realized for perhaps the first time how much I hate this picture.
I try to tell myself that I'm in love, sometimes relationships just go through rough patches, but I know it's not that… it's much more than that. I need to stop living in denial. Drake and I just aren't compatible. I'm afraid of what I know I need to do. I'm so afraid. I don't want to admit that I'm in love with someone else.

- - -

"Why would you ask me that?" I press, blinking up at the gangly boy beside me.

He looks like he's about to be sick again. I've noticed this expression on his face a couple of times and it worries me. He shakes his head after a moment and offers me a weak smile, hopping down from the brick wall we're sitting on and offering me his hand.

I can't cover up the worriment that fills me when he doesn't answer. "Jack, is something wrong?"

I stare at him as he gathers himself, wishing that I could help him. Maybe hold him… kiss him, if it makes him feel better. I'd do anything for him.

"No," He swallows and sounds like he's about to cry. "Everything's fine, Nikki."

I stare, knowing good and well everything is not fine.